FB update

I wrote the following as a FB update:

I have been asked by a few people for an update on our little miracle so thought this may be the best thing to do at this time to keep everyone up to date. And besides what else do you do when you can't sleep and it's 5am;)

It's been almost 2 wks since our world changed. The longest 2wks of my life. Those that know me well, know that i am not a patient person! Through the years God has brought me/us through some things that have definitely required patience and I thought i was getting better, but apparently not:)

We waited for about 4 days to hear from the specialist that our appt is not until Dec 3rd. We were a little disappointed by this but what can you do. I saw my OB on Monday for a regular visit and she really didn't want to speculate much on cause or prognosis. I did get to see the ultrasound of our baby's brain and see the enlarged ventricle. It was so obvious to me looking at it that I wonder how I missed seeing it during the ultrasound. Because our Dr didn't want to speculate on anything and wouldn't rule anything out when i suggested possible outcomes, I came away from the appt pretty discouraged. We have done a lot of research on enlarged ventricles and there are approx. 180 different causes so you can imagine the wide range of outcomes as well......brain damage all the way down to delays to "my baby was born perfectly fine". Kinda just makes you want to scream sometimes:)

Yesterday I got a call from my OB again, she had talked to Dr B (the specialist) and he said because the head circumference of the baby was good, my amniotic fluid level was good and anatomically the baby looked good that would lead him to believe that this is caused by infection. However, that would typically mean that both ventricles would be enlarged and in our case there is only one. He did want me in to my OB for a non-stress test today and one again next wk before i see him.

So, once again we hit the computer for more research....it's amazing how much you can learn about something that you never knew about previously and yet still seam so clueless!

I think that is about all we know right now. Hopefully when we see Dr B next wk we will know more.

I definitely would not wish this situation on anyone and yet it's interesting to see how the Lord has been working in my/our hearts. I haven't seen myself looking forward to reading the Bible and praying as much as I have the last 2wks. I typically am awake for a couple hrs in the night (typical pg things like sore hips and being hungry and then my brain starts thinking and i have a hard time shutting it off) so i get up and sometimes i spend that time on the computer and other times i spend it reading the Bible and it's amazing the comfort that brings! The Lord once again, has me on my knees totally reliant upon Him and I'm finding what a comforting (and yet, most times, uncomfortable!) place that can be!

Normal

Normal.....what is normal? Over the past 7+ yrs I have often longed to have a "normal family". For the 4yrs we were trying to get pregnant all I wanted was to be a normal person and be able to have children, then we started the AFC and all I have wanted since is to be a normal family and be able to do normal family things. But I have come to realize that normal for every person and family is so very different. There is no normal.

Last week Thursday we got news that rocked our world....changed what our normal was. And even though I have not been content with my normal, all I wished for was "our normal". Funny how that happens.

I was 29 weeks pregnant with our 2nd miracle baby (a story for a whole other post). I went in for an ultrasound (my 3rd since 20wks). The tech indicated to me that everything looked great and never gave me any indication that there was a possibility that something was wrong. Well, I got the dreaded phone call from my OB on the following Thursday. As soon as i heard her voice I knew. I knew something was wrong. My heart sank, tears came to my eyes, i sat down waiting to hear. She told me that the baby had spinal fluid leaking back onto his/her brain. That the baby has two ventricles that they measured and one is enlarged. One being 7 (or 8, I don't really remember) and the other being 18. I started to cry and my mind went blank so I had no questions ready for her and she didn't expand on anything. She just told me she would be sending me back to the Perinatologist that I saw with little Princess.

So many thoughts to process, so much research to be done, so many prayers prayed and so many lessons to be learned. God will be with us through it all!

So.....I guess we will be adapting to a new normal, whatever that may be!